


Spoiled Broth Is Still Tasty

by Ononymous



Series: Undertale Anniversary Requests 2018 [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: First Dates, Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 04:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16055492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: A lot had been going on since the monsters were freed from the Underground. Free time was a scarcity, and when some finally came along, Alphys and Undyne made a blood pact to take advantage of it and have a date. Well not a real blood pact, Alphys made Undyne put down the spear.





	Spoiled Broth Is Still Tasty

**Author's Note:**

> Original pitch: Undyne and Alphys preparing for their first date on the surface

"Ahh!"

Yet again the stool wobbled a little, sending clawed hands straight to the worktop to stabilize their owner for a fourth time. The previous owner of this house was way too tall. Undyne could manage it, but not Alphys.

"St-stupid. I need to install a l-lower bench."

Allowing the adrenaline to dissipate, except in her tail which had been stiff with nerves after the first wobble, she slowly released the worktop and retrieved the butter knife, resuming the soft scraping as its golden contents were imparted on the bread.

"Good, t-two more slices to go. Better finish b-before-"

 _BANG._ "There you are!"

"Oh! H-hi, Undyne."

It wasn't clear how many steps Undyne took to stand besides her girlfriend, or whether she had just willed herself across the room, but there she was. "You're making the sandwiches? Babe, I told you I'd do that."

"I know, Unnie, but I k-knew you'd be with Asgore while he's n-negotiating with the humans all day. The more I do n-now..." her nervous grin slowly wasn't. "The sooner we can start our d-d-d-date."

"Yeah. Yeah!" Undyne patted Alphys so hard on the shoulder she lost her balance again, but a blue hand caught her. "Whoops! Sorry Alph. But Surface Date! Our Surface Date! A date occurring on the Surface! How can you not be excited?"

The grin was even less nervous. "...I am."

"Great! Now, I can take over sandwich duty if you wanna prep the drinks-"

"N-n-n-no. I'll finish the sandwiches."

"Huh? Why?" Alphys pointed to several deep gashes in the worktop. "Oh, okay. Drinks! Now we're not only having soda, I'm making some tea to go along with it."

"Good."

The bread was soon fully colonized by the butter. Alphys carefully got off the stool and went over to the fridge, swapping the butter for cheese, salad and deli meats, bringing them to the construction site. Opening the cheese with a flick of her claw, a second knife was now cutting slices of equal thickness.

"Stupid lackadaisy go-slow piece of junk _boil already_!"

Alphys looked over to where Undyne was standing, cross-armed, glaring at the kettle that didn't have the courage to whistle yet.

"There's a h-human expression, Undyne. ‘A watched kettle never boils'."

"How the hell does that work? Do humans have eyebeams that slow down time or something? Or is this like that cat in the box?"

"Oh n-no, humans aren't like that. Well, except in the crossover of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie and-" Alphys stopped the tangent and cleared her throat. "Anyway, if you d-do something else it'll boil before you k-know it."

"Asgore doesn't have to put up with this," fumed Undyne, "he can boil it whenever."

"Huh. I always w-wondered, Undyne, did he never t-try to teach you fire magic?"

Undyne stroked her chin. "I asked him once. Or maybe more than once. He always got distracted by how great the weather was or something, so I dropped it."

"The w-weather? Underground? How does that-"

A shrill whistle stalled the inquiry. "Ugh, finally!" With delicate precision she had not demonstrated since entering the kitchen, Undyne gently took a scoop of dried leaves from a box with a yellow flower on it and deposited it in a flask, before trying to drown it with the kettle's contents.

"...four... f-five... six..."

Allowing the tea to brew in the flash, Undyne looked over Alphys' shoulder again. seven identical stacks of bread, butter, cheese and ham stood in a rigid two-by-four pattern, right as yellow hands rendered the eighth stack indistinguishable from the others.

"Woah. How'd ya get the cheese so smooth and even like that?"

"Um, I j-just took my time cutting it."

"Oh. Well that's useless, what if you're in a hurry?"

"Are we?"

"Hell yeah, the best spots in the park will be taken if we linger! I'll slice the tomatoes while you do the lettuce."

"S-slice, Unnie, not p-punch."

"Come on Alph, I know the difference!"

The next level of the sandwiches were carefully lowered into position, Alphys trying very hard to ignore the anything-but-soft thuds accompanying Undyne's labour. The fourth stack was looking more vegetative when a scarlet meteor shower burst above Alphys' head, and all eight stacks had neat slices slammed onto them.

"See, I don't just punch food into submission!" Undyne flicked her a saucy looking thumbs-up. "I'll pack the snacks while you finish up."

"G-good idea."

"Alrighty, one bag of chisps. _Just one Alphys_ , we talked about this. Something with a bit of roughage to it. Here's some nuts, a few crab apples. Ooh, some beef jerky!"

Undyne took stock of what was in the cupboard, but never needed to organize it on the worktop. Each item she called out sailed over her head, across the room and landed roughly in the hamper on the table. Then she seized the tea flask, shook it vigorously to speed up the diffusion, and then snatched a single can of soda from the fridge and put them inside the hamper personally. Meanwhile Alphys had finished the lettuce, and was completing her work.

"S-six... seven... eight!"

As each sandwich was sealed with its matching slice of bread, Alphys carefully stacked them one by one. A culinary skyscraper stood atop the worktop as Undyne inspected her progress again.

"Great! Now to j-just get the big knife t-to cut-"

" **NGAH!!!** "

A blue blur knocked Alphys aside moments before a loud slam filled the kitchen. Fumbling for her glasses, she just managed to grap them before being seized by her shirt.

"Sorry! I just love doing that part."

Rubbing the blob of butter splattered on her lens, Alphys replaced her glasses and observed ground zero. Her neat pile had collapsed, replaced by a shimmering spear that was already vanishing. Each individual sandwich had been rent in twain, but there was no coherent pattern. For all the sharpness of Undyne's weapon, she may as well have torn them in two, one by one.

"Now that," she said, huge grin flashing at her love, "looks like a proper sandwich!"

Standing on tiptoe to survey it, Alphys didn't say anything for a while. There was a moment where Undyne worried she may have gone a little too far. But then those bespectacled eyes were looking at her, scaly cheeks turning orange

"Yeah. They l-look great."

"Hah!" What moment of introspection and doubt? "Knew ya'd like- oop-"

Undyne's vest unexpectedly found itself in Alphys' yellow grasp, and her upper body was yanked down to Alphys' level. The resulting kiss lasted a while, Undyne rewarding Alphys' assertive move for as long as possible.

"Gt gm." She reluctantly broke it off. "We gotta go! You think we're the only monsters who have a sunset picnic these days? The park will be packed! You got a blanket in the hamper? Oh you already packed it, great, I'll grab it, and if we hurry we can-"

"The p-park?" Alphys flushed even further. "I w-was thinking we could watch the sun set from Exit P-plateau. L-like when Frisk broke the barrier."

Undyne's fins twitched in amusement at Asgore's most recent round of naming. "That sounds cool, babe, but will we get there in time?"

"I've g-got it planned. Can you carry the h-hamper outside?" Undyne obeyed, Alphys following her onto their lawn, before turning back and locking the front door. Taking out her phone, the hamper disappeared with a flash. "You m-might want to hold on tight." Intrigued by the unusual confidence, Undyne obeyed again. Alphys fiddled with her phone again. "Aaaaaaand... c-c-contact!"

The phone unfolded and reorganized itself, expanding as it crept up Alphys' arm and onto her back, where a harness sprouted around her upper body. A mechanism over her chest ignited with a roar, and any possible objections Undyne had to the plan were left behind on the ground, replaced by her yelling and whooping in delight as the sudden jetpack launched them into the air, over their house and towards the mountain lit by the afternoon sky.

**Author's Note:**

> Pastebin Version: https://pastebin.com/AbHWbbPk
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
